- Ex-Minnesota governor/pro-wrestler Jesse “The Body” Ventura suing TSA for groping him. Jake “The Snake” Roberts also claimed TSA handled his snake. The Bushwhackers had no comment.
- The National Research Council found that Americans live shorter lives than the French and Japanese, in part due to smoking. Well, smoking and the fact that we have to work two jobs to pay for those sweet, sweet, addictive cigarettes!
- Taco Bell is being sued over claims they don’t have enough actual meat in their “beef filling”. In their defense though, all fast food chains are struggling with beef supplies since the Grimace was put on the endangered species list.
- The Jersey Shore is going to film its forth season abroad in Italy. Italians are already preparing for a scarcity of Valtrex.
About Me
I'm a comedy writer and performer and a web designer/developer.
I've studied comedy in NYC with UCB, the PIT and Mediabistro.
“Give us this day our ‘Atkins-friendly low-carb flax bread’.” #PrayersFrom2004
... and the rest of the tweets
- A Denver family is stuck in Dallas due to bent passports. They must have been in the father's back pockets when TSA went to town on him.
- Mr. Kruger from Sienfeld attempted suicide. We're all dealing with Jerry's Acura commercials in our own ways - http://t.co/ls6Qn1iK
- Fun fact - I'm 28 and still have a 90% chance of spelling the word "calendar" wrong on the first try.