- Authorities have seized a catapult used to hurl pot into Arizona from Mexico. Just another form of smuggling sparked by the latest inventions of the ACME corporation.
- This year the Girl Scouts are cutting down on the variety of cookies they’re selling. They won’t be cutting down the actual quantity of cookies produced, so don’t worry your pretty little multiple chins.
- Utah is considering adding a gun to the list of official state symbols. This was a last minute idea, after John Stockton’s skimpy man shorts were deemed too controversial.
About Me
I'm a comedy writer and performer and a web designer/developer.
I've studied comedy in NYC with UCB, the PIT and Mediabistro.
“Give us this day our ‘Atkins-friendly low-carb flax bread’.” #PrayersFrom2004
... and the rest of the tweets
- A Denver family is stuck in Dallas due to bent passports. They must have been in the father's back pockets when TSA went to town on him.
- Mr. Kruger from Sienfeld attempted suicide. We're all dealing with Jerry's Acura commercials in our own ways - http://t.co/ls6Qn1iK
- Fun fact - I'm 28 and still have a 90% chance of spelling the word "calendar" wrong on the first try.