Mike Finazzo

SNL – Weekend Update – Fred Armisen

Posted in comedy, weekend update

 

  • HP announced that it has created the world’s first 3D printer for large-scale manufacturing. Sorry, overseas child labor.
  • A Burger King in Finland has opened the world’s first fast-food in-store spa. Making it the perfect lunch spot if you’re looking for a flame-broiled hamburger and some steamed buns.
  • A new study finds that the fastest growing group of marijuana users in the US are people 55 and older. A demographic being referred to as “hypocritical parents.”
  • Police in Colorado arrested a women for using the two children she was babysitting in a plot to rob a bank.  And just to show you how hard it is to find a good sitter, the parents haven’t even fired her.
  • Firefighters in Iowa rescued a naked man who had gotten stuck in a business’ chimney while playing hide and seek. And by ‘hide and seek’, I mean – having sex with a chimney.
  • The President of the International Olympic Committee said that if allegations of Russia’s doping program proved true he would consider banning the country’s track and field team from participating in the Rio games this summer. If suspended, they’d become instant favorites in the 2020 Olympics, as the only Zika-free track and field team.
  • Hillary Clinton released her financial information that shows last year she made more than 5 million dollars in book royalties and 15 million from paid speeches. While last year, Bernie Sanders made his own high-fiber granola.