Mike Finazzo

SNL – Weekend Update – Margot Robbie

Posted in weekend update
  • A man in Australia has been bitten by a venomous spider on his penis for the second time in five months. Taking it from a horrible, unsettling accident into a horrible, unsettling fetish.
  • Researchers have developed new temporary tattoos that release medicine into the body to fight chronic conditions. Conditions such as the hepatitis C that you contracted while getting your real tattoos.
  • Researchers are saying that people with kidney stone problems may be able to pass them by riding roller coasters. But in order for your insurance to cover it, you’ll have to be this tall.
  • A dog in Florida was returned to his home after disappearing for weeks and ending up in Boston. The dog, like many people, wound up in Boston because he just couldn’t cut it in New York City.
  • Workers in Brazil constructing a dam were shocked when they uncovered an 800 pound, 33 foot long Anaconda snake. Which quickly escalated the project from a ‘dam’ to a ‘nope!’
  • It was revealed that federal officials spent more than 50,000 dollars to study whether college students eat junk food when they drink. A study that could have easily been conducted with a handful of quarters and a dorm room vending machine.